Recruiting Conversations - Asking Questions

*Originally posted 1/21/2022

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I wanted to start sharing some more of the behind the scenes conversations that I have with college coaches about volleyball recruiting and the sport in general. Some of these concepts might be different or new to what I have talked about before. I want to make sure that I add as much context as I can or as needed for each of these topics or statements. Enjoy! I'm sure you will find these topics interesting and helpful :)

Here is a college coaches perspective:

Listen to what they're not saying.

Too many players ask me what our culture (for example) is like. What do they expect me to say? Of course I'm going to tell them it's amazing and how important it is to me. I'm a salesperson selling our program, I'm going to tell you it's awesome! What I'd encourage recruits to do is ask more vague questions such as "what does your program spend the most time working on?" "What is your program like?" Yes, listen to what they say, but also listen to what they leave out. If something is important to you, see if we mention it. If you ask us about it directly we're going to dress it up beautifully. If you let us talk in general you're going to hear from us what we think is important. So if weight lifting is important to you, and we never talk about it, it's probably a sign where we rank it's importance.

Interesting take right?

A couple quick thoughts at the beginning here. First, I mostly disagree with this notion but I do enjoy the perspective. Second, flip it around and look at it from the other direction; as a college coach who is trying to figure out what an athlete is looking for and what's important to them, if I don't hear you ask or talk about specific things, I might NOT think you are a good fit.

Okay, so let's break some of this down more.

"Listen to what they are not saying" - Yes, this is completely fair. Do coaches skirt any topics? Are there things that one coach talked about that another coach just never mentioned? We had an athlete on campus for a visit and we (as the coaching staff) went on the tour with her. This made a huge impact on the recruit because there were coaches from another school she visited that didn't spend the time with her. What do you value? What's important? Does the coach really want to get to know YOU? These can be small things or they can be big things. Are there things that in talking to players seem out of step with what the coach told you?

"Of course I'm going to tell them it's amazing" - Coaches certainly don't like to talk about their weaknesses - if they have any at all :) But this is true across the board:

All college coaches have a great culture/environment

All college coaches are highly focused on academics

All college coaches are going to do what's best for you individually

But to what extent? Academics are important for sure, but what about missing practice to go to a tutoring session? What kind of things does the program/department have in place to help athletes? How much time do they get to study while they are traveling? If you want to get an idea of how important athletes are, just go look at their team GPA! If they don't post about it at all...it's probably not important. No program or culture is perfect or amazing. So what is it about their culture that separates it from other programs? Our team actually did Bible study together; on campus and on the road. That was certainly unique and created a different culture within the team for lots of reasons. Usually, team culture is a question that you can observe better by watching the team and asking the players that question.

"Ask vague questions" - so this part for me is where I tend to move away from agreeing. As a coach if you are asking me vague and uninteresting questions that don't necessarily point to you having any understanding of our school or what you're looking in a program, then I could potentially be turned off. I don't know if what you're searching for could be found in my program. I don't know what about you makes you a unique individual. I don't know what you bring to the table. I don't know what you are going to actually add to my program. Is this a situation where you are going to be looking for the first opportunity to transfer?

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At the core, this idea is about athletes that get told one thing and then when they join that program, they find out that what they were told isn't necessarily true. For whatever reason this seems to happen fairly regularly. Promises made and not kept? A complete misunderstanding? The idea here is to make sure that the information you are getting is actually true and correct. I can get on board with that for sure. But I have my reservations in trying to play mind-games with college coaches as they can often backfire. I think asking honest and direct questions is a better idea.

Unfortunately there is sometimes a disconnect between what "should" be said by college coaches and what is actually said. Take for example the email that says something like this:

"Thanks for your interest in our program. Unfortunately, we are no longer recruiting your position."

Now, at the surface there is nothing wrong with this kind of email. Unfortunately, this coach just told me the day before that they were looking for that specific position. Where is the lie then? Where is the un-truth? (More on this idea in a later blog)

I have also heard college coaches tell me that they aren't, "looking for the right answer" that they just want the player to answer honestly so they can get to know them. This is something that I think goes both ways.

In the end, this approach makes me nervous because it seems too passive. Yes, coaches are going to dress up what they tell everyone to some degree. I always suggest that athletes ask SPECIFIC questions. If something is important to you then ask about it. Don't skirt the issue. Ask follow up questions based on what the college coach told you. If you want more detail or specifics, then ask. Dig to find out what makes their program/culture, unique, special or different from another program/culture. Listen to what they aren't saying, then ask them about what they aren't saying. I will say this again and again that athletes are the ones usually in the drivers seat when it comes to their recruiting. Don't swerve from this responsibility. Some questions are hard and difficult to ask. The benefit of asking those questions though could be the difference between you enjoying your first year of college or hating it all together.

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