The Highs and Lows of College Volleyball Recruiting: What Parents Should Expect

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This process is full of challenges. The goal of this 3 part blog series is to give you insight into the ups and downs of college volleyball recruiting, so that you can be proactive and support your athlete every step of the way.

Why the Recruiting Process Feels like a Roller Coaster

Not every family feels the weight of the ups and downs of the recruiting process, but the majority of families do. You are not the first parent to feel like things are going poorly or that you might be doing something wrong; take some encouragement in that. With every email or text message your athlete sends, it can sometimes feel like you are holding your breath for a response. This is one of the reasons I don't encourage buying too much into the click and view notifications from recruiting platforms; they tend to create more anxiety than they do damper it. Communication is key in this process and responses usually mean that you're doing many of the right things. For many families this is the first and only time that you'll be going through this process. There is very little, if any, frame of reference for anything that goes on in your journey.

The Highs and the Moments You Want to Celebrate

There are plenty of wins throughout the recruiting process; big and small. Be sure to celebrate the small wins every chance you get. Here are some examples worth celebrating:

• Getting a response from a coach

• Setting up a campus visit

• Personal bests at a tournament

• Team finishing in the Gold Bracket

• Receiving an offer (even though it's not your dream school)

• Sending your first email - and sending your 100th email

• Your First phone call with a coach

• Texting a school back and forth

The Lows Can Bring Challenges and Setbacks

Most athletes have setbacks throughout the process, even though we don't always realize it. Here are some examples of things (that happen to almost everyone) to be prepared for:

• Hearing "no" from a school

• Not getting responses after you email a school +3 times

• Feeling behind

• Worrying that you're "too late"

• Seeing other athletes commit first

• Watching your athlete struggle with frustration and self-doubt

For some insight into what happens with uncommitted athletes as they watch their friends and teammates commit, go watch my YouTube video on "Learned Helplessness."

Is "This" Normal?

When I get asked this question, it's always hard for me to answer. In general, the answer is, "Yes" this is completely normal. It might not be what happens to every athlete and you might be the only one in your circle that is going through your current situation, but everyone's process and journey is different. I can tell you lots of outside the norm stories, they certainly do happen. Things typically don't go exactly the way that you think they will.

What helps get through some of the non-normal circumstances is reaching out to people that have done this before, 100s of times. Our perspective is completely different and normal becomes relative in some ways. I know how to navigate the abnormal, because I've done that a bunch. Don't feel like you have to do this on your own. Ask help from a FT recruiting coordinator like myself, your HS coach, your club coach. Lots of people have experience and can certainly help you in some ways that can be beneficial. There's nothing wrong with asking for help with the recruiting process, for the same reason that it's not a bad thing to take your car into the shop so someone who knows what they are doing can change the oil.

Setting Expectations for the Journey Ahead

A clear understanding of timelines is important. I will encourage you to go watch my "Speedy Recruiting" video on YouTube. This process can take up to a year or more, be ready for that. If it doesn't, then great! Also keep in mind that the biggest schools are not always the best fit. There is more to consider than the "brand" of the school. There are parts to the recruiting process that athletes don't consider until they get there and then they want to transfer. Things like playing time, team culture, coaching, location. Sometimes these things get put on the back burner because of the WOW factor some schools have.

Remember that there will be ups and downs. Parents can get frustrated with the recruiting process just as much as athletes can, sometimes even more. All of the emotions that come with the process are normal. Be sure to check out the next two blog posts as we dive more into this topic.

You're not alone. We are here to help. In the next blog we will be talking about specific ways parents can support their athletes through all the ups and downs.

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